Responding To Abigail's Post

Nate is 5 yrs older than Abigail, chronologically. In all other areas, she is actually 5 yrs older than him. I remember as I was watching her grow, even through preschool, that she was very different. Watching her made me so much more aware, that Nate did have difficulties.

Nate's anger didn't start showing itself, badly, until after high school. I am sure he was mad that he was so very different & he wanted so very much to be like everyone else his age. Those he knew were off to college, dating, getting married. He was having difficulty just learning how to hold down a job. He took 2 yrs to admit that he had Asperger's. When he told me, for the first time, that he accepted this, I knew he had made yet another big jump.

Nate visits us when he wishes to. We ask him more often. Art, Abigail & I have a peaceful household. When Nate comes, the peace disappears. Art & I had to learn how not to allow Nate to draw us into arguments. This is still difficult & something we continuously work on. Nate gets mad at us very easily, as he misinterprets most of what we say or we drop a subject much too quickly for his liking. I don't like him going home mad, so I work hard to be sure he doesn't. I think this must be the mother in me, because Art is not like this.

As Abigail mentioned, Art & I were challenged to not only work with Nate, but to also give Abigail her needed attention. With the Lord's help, we succeeded. For the last yr, with Nate in his own place, Abigail has enjoyed being an only child, well young adult, but when she is home, not at school or work, she enjoys the time we have together as a family of 3. Art & I are also helping Abigail with the areas of growth that she is going through.

I hope you are learning about Asperger's through our personal experience. I will start with research & bring in more professional facts, at least those that actually do exist.